I have always been drawn to people who were older, wiser, and seemed to be really successful at whatever it seemed they did. One of the things they did so well was listen. They would dive deep and ask questions about the core of the person they were talking to. Maybe they would get even deeper and go to the fears, hesitations, and even a little misalignment.
This was a very special part. Equally as special, was the part where they turned their listening to observations and feedback. They did this in the most elegant, non-threatening, and calm manners. Here are 4 things leaders can do in their transition from listening to feedback.
Saying “I’ve got an observation.” When you demonstrate that you have an observation and not a judgement, it allows for your comment to stay in the neutral portion of the conversation. You are simply saying what it is that you see. You are focused on the behavior or action and not the person. It stays subjective.
“My intuition is telling me…” As you share what your instincts are telling you, whether it is your gut or your heart, what you say remains neutral. You can’t refute feelings. When you give your real feelings it shows that you care and that you are listening.
”Your statement doesn’t sound aligned with your values.” The leaders I have seen do this well do an amazing job focusing on the statement more than the person. This is KEY! Doing this will allow the person to stop, recognize, and reassess their actions.
”I’m really curious about that thought of…” This gets back to the thought more so than the thinker. When I saw a leader do this, it was inspiring. They immediately started the conversation with question thinking. Provoking curiosity and deeper processing.
I am so thankful for the many leaders who have mentored me. Thanks for showing me and always giving me your ear!