I have recently spent a lot of time thinking about this topic. I think about what it is to be a man, father, and a leader. It is my desire to raise my kids in a way that they don’t need me but indeed want me. I want them to know how to act, work, and treat others in ways that they can be successful, should I not be around. The same can be for your team, program, or organization. Leading by example is the ONLY way to lead. It is not what you say, but what you do.
Below is a list of 5 things you can instantly use that will help you do a better job of leading by example.
-Make Everything A little Bit Better: This past summer we were fixated on the World Cup. We saw a team get eliminated from the tournament (I forgot which team) and left their locker room clean as a whistle. This was no doubt a demonstration of leadership from the top down. Most teams I have seen or been associated with might leave an ice bag or pre-wrap on the floor. As a leader, make the walkway you take to your office a little cleaner by picking up the piece of paper on the floor, or ensure the team makes the locker room something they would be proud of if the New York Times took a picture. How you do anything is how you do everything.
-Be Honest: Be honest with everyone in your program or on your team. Have meetings with both players/parents. Get to know them and ask questions. Getting feedback from them can help you learn and allow you to better answer them with full transparency. Your feedback will come across as GENUINE.
-Do What You Say You Will Do: Creating standards and expectations with your team will open the doors early to test your ability to hold yourself and players under you accountable. When one falters, address it immediately. Never let it fester. The communication must come so that they know exactly why they are being corrected/punished. If a player was taken out of the game and promised to get back in, find a way to hold yourself to that promise. If they didn’t get back in, OWN IT (See next). If you promise your team will do community service, make sure your team is there (staff included).
-Own Your Mistakes: Most people now days are remarkable at deflecting blame. It isn’t their fault. It’s coach’s fault, their teammates fault, their parents fault. Now is the time for them to see the difference. It’s time for them to see you OWN YOUR MISTAKES when they happen. Owning up to your mistakes when you make them or at the time you’ve been caught not only provides you with credibility but also allows them to see you in a vulnerable position. The same state you need them to be comfortable in so they can grow through their own mistakes.
-Don’t react, RESPOND: When facing confrontation, it is easy to defend yourself quickly and give a quick response. STOP. Most times the confronter just wants to be heard. Fight the urge to react and listen to what they are trying to relay. Come back with a sense of understanding with where they are and then respond. This won’t be just in private conversations. Your followers are watching you when the ref makes a bad call (usually often). When they see you react poorly it gives them a sense that it’s okay that they react in that manner when something doesn’t go in their favor.